The daily exposure

TIME FOR REFLECTION: As much as I loved playing team-sport, it was not always easy to be a part of a team. One aspect that I sometimes struggled with, maybe because of my introvert character, was the feeling I had of the day-to-day exposure of myself.

What I mean by exposure is the feeling of always being seen, or of being under continuous observation on and off the field by either my team-mates, my roomie, the coaches, the physiotherapists, the team doctor, the physical trainers, the team-building coaches, the dietitian, the video analyst, or the performance measurement gadgets that were tracking me.

I felt somewhat vulnerable in the sense that everything about me was out there for someone else to notice, comment on or question at any given moment. With all these ‘eyes’ on me, unease would often creep in, enough to distract me with feelings of insecurity. In my thoughts there would be questions like: Am I performing as is expected of me; Am I participating adequately; Is my behavior satisfactory. 

To counter balance the exposure, I would sometimes consciously try to make myself less noticeable. Like choosing to do certain things last, such as waiting in line for my lunch after a training, or positioning myself behind others during a team-talk or training debrief, or choosing not to say anything during an open discussion.

And while team-building sessions helped a lot to understand team-work dynamics, I needed to create a moment for myself during the day that was only for me, a place that was entirely mine, where I could regroup myself in my way, with my own ideas and reflections, and to allow my feelings to surface and express themselves.

Visualization helped me do all of this. At different moments throughout the day - because all it takes is 10 minutes of visualization - and especially before falling asleep, I would check-in with myself. In the example above, I would visualize my behavior of trying to be less noticeable and figure out if this was the best solution for me. Maybe I could find better solutions, such as talking to someone about the insecurity I was experiencing. 

This kind of visualization is of a more reflective nature, it isn’t directed towards a certain goal or process. It is purely to help gather oneself and feel what is actually going on inside. If you would like to learn how visualization can help you with a daily check-in, to be able to connect to your feelings, thoughts or behavior and process them in your own time and in your own way, feel free to contact me if you are interested.

visualizaton makes ready!